tuesday confessions.

Jack will be 8 weeks on Friday and in that short time, I have had just about every emotion under the sun.

Motherhood is exhausting, hard, rewarding, wonderful, frustrating. I could go on and on. In one moment I'm to my breaking point because he just won't go to sleep or he's not eating what I think he should be eating, then the next, Jack has smiled ear to ear at me and all those frustrations are out the window.

I've always heard that being a parent is hard, but before I had experienced it for myself, I just had no idea.

On the other side of that is the sheer joy I feel when I think about my little guy. Also, I love when anyone I know announces that they're pregnant or goes in to labor. Knowing that others are getting experience the love and adoration that I'm feeling is so exciting.

Just today a fraternity brother of John's and his wife had their little girl. And, seeing his excited updates on facebook made me want to cry and brought me back to the day that Jack was born. The excitement that I felt on that day is something I hope to never forget and, honestly, I want that feeling for everyone I know.

A sorority sister of mine is due any day now, and as embarassing as it is to admit this, I've been checking her facebook religiously to see how she's doing and find out when that baby is coming!

Being in the hospital, knowing that in just hours you're going to meet your child is so surreal. And the anticipation is almost agonizing. Then, when the baby finally arrives, sure there are nerves, but you just jump right in and start doing what you think is best. I've made my fair share of mistakes, but in the end, I always want to do right by my child.

I've looked back at my Belly Business posts and sure I complained about being uncomfortable and having heartburn or back pain, but I don't really remember all of that now. All I remember is the excitement of finding out I was pregnant and all the life changing experiences that have happened since then.

Of course there are also those moments when you remember what life was like before baby. I've thought about that a lot, and though I wouldn't change a thing, I do sometimes miss the carefree evenings and weekends. But, as Erin says, this is just a season, and in the grand scheme of things, what's a couple of weeks, months or years? Life will eventually get easier and things will start to come more naturally.

The other day the girl that writes this blog posted something about mommy guilt. That post hit so close to home for me. Not because I, too, was planning a first birthday party, but because I always want to do what's best and though I'm not always 100% sure what that is, I sometimes feel guilt that I'm not doing things perfectly.

When my parents were in town this past weekend (during which we took no pictures...ugh!), we met my uncle in OKC for lunch. Jack was fine in his car seat for the first 20 or 25 minutes at the restaurant, but after that he was not having it. He started wailing and there wasn't much we could do to make him stop.

All I could think of was what the other restaurant-goers were thinking about me and my wailing child. Finally I convinced my parents and uncle that we had to get out of there.

I know I'm not the first person whose baby has cried in a restaurant and I certainly won't be the last. And, I know that a crying baby is hardly a reflection of the parent that I am, but I can't help feeling a little guilty about disrupting other people's meals and not being able to soothe my own child.

Mommy guilt. This isn't the first time I've felt it and it won't be the last. And, I've said it a thousand times, I have to give up the idea that there is a perfect way to parent. Every single parent has good days  and bad days and I know that in the end, Jack will be perfectly fine because everything I do is done out of love.

So, there you have it. Almost 8 weeks worth of parenting "wisdom". Now, who's ready to become a mom?

friends.

Since Jack came into our lives, I've had more of an opportunity to watch daytime tv. Of course, there really is nothing of substance to watch (except the occasional show on the Food Network or HGTV), but at 4 on one of the local channels, Friends is aired back to back.

I watched Friends in its heyday and though I have many favorite episodes, the clip below is one of my all-time favorites. In fact, just watching the 13 second clips makes me laugh out loud.



What about you, what's your favorite episode or moment from Friends?

j's first father's day.

Jack has been with us for 6 weeks, and in that time, I've gotten to see J really grow as a father.

He likes to say he has "Dad strength" and Jack lights up when his Daddy is in the room. Just last night, while I was feeding Jack, J came in and, as he was leaving, Jack watched him leave. I can already tell that they're going to have a great relationship.

Happy Father's Day, Love!

crafty like that.

I found this super cute shop on Etsy that sells prints with your child's birthday information on there -- name, weight, length, time and date of birth. It's such a cute idea, but is it really worth $30 plus shipping?

Not for this lady!

I put on my graphic designer hat and made my own and I have to say, it turned out darn cute!

Next up: Jack's birth announcement!

I'm a spaz.

Oh.my.gosh.

If a dollar were deposited in Jack's college fund everytime I've spazzed since he was born, he could probably take his pick of private universities.

Ugh! Why can't I just mellow out? I mean, he's only 4 and a half weeks old!

I really should count my blessings, we have a happy, healthy baby boy who is a pretty good sleeper at night, who is doing really well at holding his head up, who is more and more alert during the day, who is smiling so much more often and who eats well. I could go on and on. He's a great baby. So, why am I spazzing about him napping in his crib?

I'm officially chilling out (I'll probably have to tell myself this many times in the coming months) and just taking sleep when we can get it.

A swing has been ordered and should be here by the end of the week. We didn't have one because our house is so small and we didn't know where we would put it. But, Jack doesn't love his bouncy chair and everyone we talk to swears by the swing.

Please cross your fingers that Jack loves the swing and that I really start chilling out. I think the Montgomery house would be a lot happier if I just took a deep breath and enjoyed our little man.

Jack: One Month

Wow. I cannot believe that Jack has been in our lives for a month. On the one hand, it seems like we just heard his strong cry and saw all that dark hair on his head for the first time, but on the other hand, I feel like he's been with us forever.

The last month has been one I'll never forget. We've been getting to know our little man, and he's been getting to know us and we've loved cuddling, rocking and watching Jack sleep and discover the world around him. He's teaching us so much, among the biggest lessons (for me) are more patience and cherishing the moments we have together.

I know he's starting to recognize our faces and our voices. And, his smiles have melted our hearts! It's such a morale booster when we get a huge smile out of Jack and it helps us keep going through some of his fussier moments. 

When it comes to sleep, we're still working on it during the day. Of course Jack would love it if someone held him every time he slept, but we're working on getting used to the crib, which works sometimes and sometimes not. I have to keep knocking on wood, but usually he's pretty good at night. On average, we go four hours between feedings, but occasionally we'll get a 5, 6 or even 7 hour stretch, which makes everyone just a little bit happier!

Speaking of eating, once we got you supplementing with formula, Jack's weight gain really took off. In just ten days he gained an entire pound! And, since then, he's been a great eater. The doctor was ecstatic that he'd gained so much weight and said we'd "graduated" and didn't have to go back until 2 months (and the dreaded shots...).

Like I said, we're still figuring things out, but in this short time, we already know some of the things that Jack does not like:

•waiting to eat (sometimes I'm a little out of it in the middle of the night and it takes me a few minutes to figure out what's going on)

•sitting in your dirty diaper

•the little bout of gassiness he gets sometimes

But, the things he does like:

•eating

•riding in the car

•music (J is sure he loves Fleetwood Mac already)

•short bouts of playtime on his little playmat and tummy time

•snuggles

•the rain sound machine in your room

Time really does fly, and like I said already, I can't believe we're already the parents of a month old baby. Jack is such a blessing and though we have our good and not-so-good days, we love him just as much as our hearts will allow and thank God for choosing us to be his parents.

1 month stats:

•As of last Wednesday you were 9 lbs. 1 oz., but you're feeling heavier by the day

•3-4 oz. every 3 hours

•still Newborn and some 0-3 clothes

•still Newborn diapers, but I'm sure you could do 1s, too

the little man pictures.

taken right after an early evening feeding

cute outfit from his uncle Jason